July 25th: Squirrel looks very sad

Last night I decided to go out for a drive around 9 p.m. to see if I could find some moose, or maybe a bear. It's still very light at 9 p.m., so I was going to be out for a few hours.

As I started the car and put it in reverse, I happened to turn and look in front of me, where I saw Squirrel hanging upside-down from the tree at the end of the driveway. He looked over at me, and I waived, thinking it was no big deal. There was food on the railing, so I knew he had plenty to eat. Then he got down from the tree and stepped onto the gravel driveway area. He stood up and looked at me, and he had this incredibly shocked and sad look on his face. I think he thought I was leaving him for good, maybe because he never saw me drive away this late at night.

I remembered having that look on my face one time when I was a young boy. My parents seemed to argue a lot when I was young, and one night when we were visiting with my cousin's family, my parents decided that it would be a good idea for me to stay at my cousin's house that night. I didn't want to do this at all, but they left me there for what they called a "sleep over".

I don't remember if I cried, but I do remember thinking the whole night that they didn't love me. I thought they were trying to get rid of me, and maybe they argued so much because of me. But looking back at it now, I think they just wanted me to be a little more independent. Up until then I had spent every night of my life in my parent's house, and they just wanted me to see something different.

That was one of the longest nights of my life. I tried to have fun staying with my cousin, but all the time I was worried about why my parents wanted to do this to me. Would they really come back for me? It took me a very long time to fall asleep that night.

Finally, some time after breakfast, they did come back to pick me up, and I think we were all very happy. I know I was.

So when Squirrel was standing there in the driveway, looking very sad because I was leaving, I rolled down my car window and called out "It's okay, I'm just going out for a little while to look for some moose, and then I'll be back", but he still looked sad. It was hard for me to leave him there in the driveway.

Just then, I knew what it must have been like for my parents to leave me at my cousin's house that night. Squirrel didn't really need to be independent like I did, but he was just as sad as I was, and seeing him look that sad made it very difficult for me to leave.